December 14, 2024 - This is not good

This is not good na kasi nagiging attached na ako sayo. Hinihintay kita lagi mag-online. Naghihintay ako na baka sakaling i-chat mo ako. Hahahaha. Desperate??? Kaya nga ako napupuyat eh. Hinihintay kita. Actually kabisado ko na kung kailan ka nagoonline. Huhu. Ayoko na. Naaapektuhan na ang daily life ko. Charingg! Haha. Pero seriously, this is getting out of hand. Wala kang kasalanan. This is all my fault. Masyado lang akong easily attached?? And i can easily build a habit like looking at your profile every now and then. To see if you're online or what have you been posting. Malapit ko na nga yata accidentally mapindot yung like button sa mga old pictures mo eh. Na kung sakali mang mangyari yun, eh obvious na obvious na i'm stalking your profile. Hahahaha. Huhuhu. i think i need help na! Hahahaha

September 28, 2024 - I Know You Know Ikaw 'To

Ang bilis ng mga araw. Di ko namalayan na antagal ko na din walang entry dito. Wala naman din kasi akong ma-kwento. Napaka-mundane ng buhay ko lately. Well, lagi naman. Pero ewan, busy lang siguro. Sa clinic? Naah.

Honestly, na-a-out of focus ako. Dahil na rin siguro na social media. Panay scroll lang. FB, Tiktok, IG, etc. Paulit ulit na lang, everyday. I can't say napupuyat ako kasi i get 6-7-8 hours of sleep a day. Kung napuyat man ako, usually nababawi ko yung tulog sa late afternoon. Gigising na ng late night, magdi-dinner. Then matutulog na ulit. Hehe. Unhealthy routine ano?

So ito na nga yung reason kung bakit ko ulit naisipan mag-entry dito. Hehe. Ayoko na kasi humaba pa to kasi medyo antok na din ako. 11:45pm na as of this moment of writing. Napagod yata ako this day kaya ako inaantok na. Andami ko nagawa today. Himalang walang nagpaschedule ng appointment this saturday so i got to do a lot of things. Typical household chores pero at least nagawa ko after napakatagal na rin. Tapos bukas ayun jam packed yung schedule. Sunday talaga ang free time ng mga patients. Ay wait, tignan mo yan. Lumihis na naman tayo sa topic. Yung reason kung bakit ko ulit naisipan magupload ng entry dito. May ADHD na yata ako.

Ok balik tayo sa topic. Well kasi, gusto ko lang na dito sabihin na, "How are you?" "How are you today?" "How's life lately?" "Are you okay?" "If you want to talk about something, i'm just here. I will listen." "Nahihiya kasi ako i-chat ka. Hindi naman kasi tayo close. Gustong gusto kita kausapin. Matagal na. I already tried actually. I hearted your post, yung sa highlights sa messenger tapos sa chat siya lalabas? Alam mo yun di ba? Nag-thank you ka pa nga eh, in tagalog. Then we started a conversation about your post. Pero na-feel ko na na medyo reserved ka. So sige, inisip ko na lang na, hindi naman kasi talaga tayo close eh. Pagbigyan. So after ilang days, nag-attempt ulit ako. Sent you a photo of a food that reminded me of you. FYI, ikaw naman kasi yung nagsuggest ng food na yun sa comment mo sa photo ko noong matagal na. Nagkataon lang na i have it on hand kaya naalala kita. Haha. Wait nga parang inaaway na kita. 😂  Ang reserved mo pa rin. Di ko magawang pahabain yung convo. Hindi ka kasi nagtatanong. So na-feel ko na. Hanggang dun na lang talaga. I know madaldal ka in person, makwento ka. Marami kang alam. Alam ko conversationalist ka kasi may vlogs ka eh, which i watch every single of your uploads. You talk a lot. You need to talk a lot because that's what you do. Na-sad lang ako na hindi ka interesadong kausapin ako. Na makipagkwentuhan sa akin. Don't get me wrong ha, i just want to know you better and maybe become friends? Kasi i admire you. You inspire me. Feeling ko andami kong matututunan sayo kapag naging friend kita. For me, cool ka! You are good at what you do. Very passionate ka sa work mo dati which i find it so inspiring. And your hobby, na i would also like to learn. Taking pictures! 😢 You have a talent. I also want to learn from you. Gusto ko ulit magheart ng mga latest posts mo sa highlights eh kaso natatakot na ako na baka this time, you will ignore me na. 😢

Siguro nga hanggang dito lang talaga. Just admiring you from afar. Don't get me wrong, hindi kita crush! Huwag kang ma-feeling! 😂

March 18, 2024 - Nasa Labels ang Clue

Today's clinic was tiring! Though i had only one patient, i spent whole afternoon for just one! I'm not complaining ha 'cause all of the dental works i did today was fulfilling! I was just exhausted to the point that i forgot to list all of what i did to the patient and excluded some treatment fees! Haha!

2-unit composite veneers, 1 replacement of old composite restoration, 1 unit fiber post of a root canal treated tooth then porcelain fused to metal as her final restoration and lastly a removable partial denture for her missing teeth. All of these for just one patient! Praise the Lord for these kinds of patients! Thank you!

I like challenges. By these opportunities, i am able to learn and grow.

Okay, so while i'm busy with the patient today, i was not able to hold my phone for a while. Which is good. A short social media break. Away from toxic stressors and depressors. And what are the odds that while i'm away from facebook, heto siya, nagpaparamdam. Sino? Siya. Basta siya.

Pagod ako, pero kinikilig ako. Haha! I know, hindi ibig sabihin na kapag nagrereact siya lagi or nagcocomment sa mga posts mo, eh interesado na siya sayo. Huwag kang mafeeling gurl! Haha! Hindi ko alam kasi hindi ko naman alam kung anong intention niya at tumatakbo sa isip niya. Pero as someone na interesado sakanya, siyempre may meaning yun sa akin. Kaya nga ako kinikilig eh. One sided love eto, tangek! Hahaha!

Siguro naman napapansin din niya na panay heart ako sa mga posts niya. Kasi naman eh, medyo may mga interests siya sa buhay na medyo parehas kami. Hehe. Or feelingera lang talaga ako. Nagpapakita na nga ako ng motibo pero ayaw talaga niya mag initiate kausapin ako. Hahaha. Nagmamatigasan lang ba talaga kaming dalawa? O ako lang talaga 'tong assuming at feelingera?

Gets ko naman eh. First of all, if ever man na interesado rin siya sa akin naghehesitate pa siya kasi hindi pa siya ready, marami pa siyang sinesettle sa buhay niya. Hindi ko alam pero feeling ko yun ang dahilan. Hahaha! Feelingera nga talaga ako ano? Hahaha. Ayaw lang niya sigurong magpa-asa kasi nga di pa siya sure if mapapanindigan niya. Malayo kami sa isa't isa eh. Oooops! Clue drop! Hahaha! Pero naisip ko lang ulit, kung talaga naman na interesado rin siya sa akin, eh di sana noon pa naginitiate na siya ng communication nung andito pa siya. Kaso hindi eh. So mafeeling lang talaga ako? Or dahil nga aalis siya kaya hindi muna siya naginitiate ng communication. Hahahaha. Anuvah talaga?? Kainis!

Pangalawa, if ever man na wala naman talaga siyang interest sa akin, as someone he knows sa facebook lang naman ako sakanya, na kaya hindi siya nagiinitiate kausapin ako is because, meron siyang ibang someone na kinaiinteresan. Aww, that could be sad for me. Hahaha! Sad pero tawa? Baliw!

Pangatlo, baka mahal pa niya ex niya? Hahahahaha! Char!

Pero if ever man ini-stalk din niya ako at nababasa niya 'to, give me a clue naman oh.

Chat ka naman oh. Kahit isang smiley lang. Hehehe. Desperada?? Kapag nagchat ka ng smiley, magrereply din ako ng smiley. Hihihi. Baliw na yata ako! Huhuhu. Sorry.

K, bye.

P.S.: nasa labels ang clue =')

March 15, 2024 - Am I The One Being Manifested?

Just a thought, for the past few weeks, i am manifesting something to happen and little by little i thought it was working. But then i decided to give up, let it go and move on because i just realized that it's none sense and the truth is, it's never gonna happen. I accepted that i was just being delusional, that maybe i am too assuming.

Until lately, now that i finally accepted that yeah i know that it's never gonna work out and i finally don't care anymore, it's starting to show up signs again! Why?? You are frustrating me!! 🤣

But then i realized, that maybe, just maybe, am i the one being manifested? Manipulated? Well, whatever it is that you are doing to me, i think it is working! 🙃

March 14, 2024 - Nakakatampo

One of the advantages of being a private dentist is that you handle your own time at your own free will. If you do not want to do patients for the day, you could just reschedule them. If there's no patient for the day, you could do anything else. You could sleep all day if you want or do something productive like do general cleaning of the house, if medyo sinisipag ka. Cook and vlog, like i use to do, but this day, mej tamad ako. Or do gardening if you love plants.

Now the disadvantage of having a private clinic, with no associates is that, no patient, no income. Sad. That's why we have to have other sources of income. Like investments, or passive income. Hmm. Kailangang magsipag. Marami pa akong travels. Hehe. Pero as of today, i'm so tamad. I have scheduled patient pa this day pero mamaya pa pero i'm so tinatamad talaga. Is it the hormones? Or am i just getting old na? Which is true naman, i accept. 🤣

Okay out of the topic naman tayo. Out of topic pero ilalagay ko as title. 🤣 Nakakatampo. Pero wala naman akong karapatan. Haha. Iniisip ko na lang na, ok baka nga may someone siya kaya hindi ako ineentertain. Delulu momints nanaman ako ngay. Sabi ko pa naman na ayoko na mag-assume. Na maglet go na ako. Marupok amfufu! Maglelet go pero wala namang naumpisahan. Haha. Shyet! Stop! K, bye. 🤣

March 9, 2024 - May Gemini

It's 1:25AM to be exact. I could not sleep again cause i took a nap at around 5:30PM till 9PM earlier.

Had 4 patients in the morning till 3:30PM and went out to pay our electric bill and bought what i needed to make a mango sticky rice.

I'm not really sure if i will be able to make that mango sticky rice and vlog it cause later i will be busy again in the clinic.

Okay, random thoughts: I'm finally convinced that one legit traits of a May born Gemini is "madaling magsawa". This day i like you and tomorrow, i don't like you anymore and will never like you ever again. In fact, i could cut you off right now and never regret it.

Once i'm done, i'm done! 🤣

March 3, 2024 - Good Riddance

I found this quote from facebook and it made me think that maybe i really shouldn't force myself with this person. Though i'm not doing anything naman talaga. Haha. Delulu momints lang talaga ako.

Sabi ko nga, he doesn't even know how i feel towards him and i don't wanna be the first one to initiate connections or conversations.

I think this is the sign that i was looking for. To finally stop and finally go back to what i was previously being busy about.

Besides, walang namang nasimulan, so walang kailangang tapusin. Good riddance!